Gone

Hey.

I’m single again.

I broke up with that guy I’ve dated for almost a year.

I just want to document my thoughts right now.

It was this thing when you live with someone and one day just realize you don’t love him anymore. That’s what happened. I just don’t love him anymore.

I learn some things from this relationship, obviously.

1.       If you start to feel that you don’t want to be with this person anymore – don’t stay. It won’t change with time.

2.       If you feel like you’re not improving – it’s not for you. I think that’s the most important thing I learned: if you feel like the relationship doesn’t let you do things for yourself – it doesn’t worth it. It killed me that I couldn’t something for myself only. I couldn’t watch my TV-shows because I physically didn’t have time because I spend it with him. I couldn’t work out and put some weight and it’s killing me now because I feel fat.

3.       Don’t start a relationship too soon after heart breaking. It was the biggest my mistake. Just don’t do it. Really. You’ll have this thought of that other guy all the time in your head. It kills.

4.       Don’t let him be the center of EVERYTHING in your life. It’s also very important. Every person should have his own goal in life. And the other person shouldn’t be a goal. Because I started to forget what I really wanted in life because of him and it’s not right.

5.       Breaking up – it’s not the end of the world. I’m back to my family and I’m happy with it. I’m happy to have this time with myself again. I missed it. And now I have a list of goals, I know what to do with my life. And it’s great! And even though I liked the living apart from my mum on my own, I liked lazy evenings with him and I will miss it a lot, I’m still so happy to be back home and be back on my life track.

I have tons of good memories with him. I’m thankful for everything he gave me but I want to move on. I’m not angry, I’m not in tears all the time(although I did cry couple times), I’m not regretting. 

I’m happy. I’m happy to be on my own.

I’m just saying goodbye to that life.

Goodbye.

I wish you only the best.

Bye.