Talking Post #2: January of Changing

Hi, humans!

January was a month of changing my mind. I mentioned it couple times and I probably should stop talking about it at all but I still can’t. The point is that the boy I was deeply in love with started dating with my close friend and just crossed me out from his life. That was a strike for me as he was always saying he really needed me and didn’t want to lose. But things changed and now I’m trying to get used to this idea of not having him in my life. I feel like I’m in some kind of series or something like I never expected something like this to happen to me. And of course I wasn’t prepared. The last 6 months were so different: I felt high, I felt low, I felt confused, I felt unconfident, I felt guilty. Guilty that I haven’t done enough to keep him next to me. And although now I realize that he doesn’t deserve the way I was thinking about him, still somewhere deep in my soul I wish he came back. But no matter how hard it is, I need to let him go. Oh Gosh, it sounds so lame. Like the episode of some drama. Heh.

Still. I was pretty much broken in the beginning of the year and the January was a month of thinking and working on myself, on my mood mostly. Sometimes it’s really hard to pull yourself together and just stop thinking about such things and just move on. And I’ve read tons of different articles about motivation and tips to move on. So I mixed some things I’ve read and some things I’ve figured out.

1. Get distracted.

It’s harder than it seems. My go-to thing is movie. I’m trying to watch more movies from different genres: drama, comedy, horror, thriller, some “clever” movies, some “classic” movies which I wanted to watch forever. Other thing I like to do now it’s sorting out my stuff. I have so many things I don’t use so I packed them in some boxes and put under my bed so they don’t take much space I need for more important things.

2. Do something new.

Or just forgotten. I used to draw some years ago and now I really want to start doing it again. I really need some art in my life. Oh, it reminded me that I wanted to go to my favourite art museum in Moscow. I also have a strong desire to start running in the evenings. Morning option is not for me, I tried couple times :)

3. Clean.

The main thing that stops me from forgetting all that shit that’s happened is that I have way too much things reminding about it. So I just took all the photos I had with any mentions of him, all little things and just stored it somewhere I don’t get very often. It helped, really. Then I cleaned my closets from things I don’t actually wear. It was hard to say goodbye to some old clothes which were way to big because I’ve lost some weight(and I’m so proud of it) but instead I’ve found some things I hadn’t worn for ages and simply forgotten about them but actually I still like them and now can’t wait for summer to wear them :) I also cleaned my shelves and drawers to free some space for something new.

4. Work out.

Honestly I’m not successful at this point but it’s the 1^st of February, time to start doing it constantly! It really clears up your mind. Plus, it’s time to start getting ready for summer :)

5. Read.

Sound simple and like it’s not gonna work. But it depends on a book. I’m currently reading “Night Circus” by Erin Morgenstern for fun and “Head First!: 10 Ways to Tap into Your Natural Genius” by Tony Buzan to get to know my own brain a little more. It actually leads to my next point.

6.  Improve.

No matter what you have to improve. The first week after I knew about my “friends” I was only laying all day long, maybe watching some movies or youtube videos. And that was wrong. Only later I realized it and started doing something. I’ve found a new job which I’m loving right now. I’ve read some psychology books for my work which helped me already and there I heard about “Head First” which is incredible! I try to draw everyday to improve my skills. I’m planning to start working out from today. Improving is the best way to get distracted. It’s really important to focus from time to time on yourself, only yourself and nobody else. Friends come and go but you always stay with yourself no matter what. So make yourself an interesting person to be with.

7. Walk more.

The fresh air is the best thing in the world! Living in a big city can make it hard to find a good place for walking but try to find a nice one for yourself. I’ve found couple lovely places in Moscow just for me. It’s a great opportunity to think over everything. One such walk opened my eyes: I realized that I wasn’t really myself those couple months and now I’m trying to do my best just to be more me. So, walks are great :)

All pictures are from this amazing blog on tumblr: artvmeshcheryakova

That's all from me from today!

I hope you've been going great :)

Ciao!