How To Be Confident: Why All Those Article Don't Work

Hi!

I love Bloglovin, I really like to read some kind of inspiring articles. And recently I got my usual email letter with couple articles to read and there I saw the title "How to be confident". At the first moment I wanted to click on it and read as I consider myself as a person with confidence issues. But then I thought "How can this article help? Why should I read it? Did any of other articles that helped me?" And my answer was NO.

Right now as I'm getting older(I'm still pretty young and I have tons to learn about life) I start to think over my problems. Right now I'm feeling good about my life. Well, I still believe that I need to lose some weight and it will burst my confidence, and I'm well aware of the fact that it is the wrong mindset. But still, every time I lose some weight I immidiently feel way more confident.

My main idea about confidence is "If you don't like it - change it, if you can't change it - like it". I'm not sure whether I saw it somewhere or no, but I have this idea in my head for a very long time and I believe in it. I mean, I don't like the size of my body. I can change it. The fact that I don't do it because I'm lazy, it's the whole another problem. But still I can and it means that if I don't have the body of my dream I'm not working hard enough. And as soon as I start working out I instantly get this burst of positivity that makes me feel better about myself and the world around me and that's what makes me feel confident.

Right now I get to know new people, I'm getting better in my job, the weather is beautiful. The last thing I actually feel like I need to add is some daily sport and healthy eating. And that's what can make me a different person.

And I always try to be positive about people around me, I say more yes and thanks to it I actually got an expensive haircut and manicure for free :)) And when I came to that salon I was surprised with the fact that I talked to people over there, I made jokes, I asked people about different things, I talked to their boss like she was my Guru. Gosh, a year ago I would be so freaking quite and just smile in a silly way but now I feel so much more open-minded that I let people easily in my life. And that's only because I feel more confident about myself.

So my point here is that there's no universal recipe to be confident, you should find your own way to do it. You can read tons of books but until you actually start doing something nothing will change. I just work on the things that I don't like about myself and that makes me fell better about myself. Do things and you'll get there :)

I know that everybody had or still have some confidence problems, so share it in the comments, I'd love to read about it :)

So, ciao!

30 Day Challenge

Almost a month ago I saw this video(link here) and it made me think: what if I really try to do it this time? I started it. 

I decided to start with something simple: Read at least 10 pages of a book every evening before I go to bed. And I did it. I write about it only now as I wanted to test it before I post. I even did my own printable to watch my progress. Feel free to take it and use if you want to :) 

I finally almost finish the book I bought when I was 13. Well, it is a little bit weird to read a book you were into when you were 13 and now you're 21, but hey, I enjoy it a lot! I also set myself a reward: buy a new book in English. Here, in Moscow it's pretty expensive to buy books in English, but I thought that after achieving such a target I can afford it :) I've already bought myself one and started reading it and I enjoy it so far :) 

I'm also in the process with two other challenges: do evening and morning workouts. I'm half way through it and already feel so much better about myself. After I finish it, I think I'll do a separate post with the workouts I've been doing :)

On my own skin I experienced that I can do whatever I want if I try to. I feel so unstoppable now :) And I shared this idea with some my friends and they are so into it and I look forward to start new challenges together with them :)

I came up with a list of challenges I want to do at some point. I find that have more than three challenges at the same time isn't as effective so I wait till I finish these 2 challenges before I start a new one. But maybe this list can inspire you to do something:

- draw a picture a day as I want to improve my drawing skills

- drink more water as it's very healthy for your body

- write a post a day as I always feel lazy to type :)

- read an article a day as I want to learn something new every day

- learn new words every day as I need to expend my vocabulary

- not to eat junk food or fast food as I eat it way too much and spend way too much money on it

- take a photo a day as I want to improve my photographie skills.

What challenges would you set for yourself?

Always try to make yourself better!

Ciao!

Gone

Hey.

I’m single again.

I broke up with that guy I’ve dated for almost a year.

I just want to document my thoughts right now.

It was this thing when you live with someone and one day just realize you don’t love him anymore. That’s what happened. I just don’t love him anymore.

I learn some things from this relationship, obviously.

1.       If you start to feel that you don’t want to be with this person anymore – don’t stay. It won’t change with time.

2.       If you feel like you’re not improving – it’s not for you. I think that’s the most important thing I learned: if you feel like the relationship doesn’t let you do things for yourself – it doesn’t worth it. It killed me that I couldn’t something for myself only. I couldn’t watch my TV-shows because I physically didn’t have time because I spend it with him. I couldn’t work out and put some weight and it’s killing me now because I feel fat.

3.       Don’t start a relationship too soon after heart breaking. It was the biggest my mistake. Just don’t do it. Really. You’ll have this thought of that other guy all the time in your head. It kills.

4.       Don’t let him be the center of EVERYTHING in your life. It’s also very important. Every person should have his own goal in life. And the other person shouldn’t be a goal. Because I started to forget what I really wanted in life because of him and it’s not right.

5.       Breaking up – it’s not the end of the world. I’m back to my family and I’m happy with it. I’m happy to have this time with myself again. I missed it. And now I have a list of goals, I know what to do with my life. And it’s great! And even though I liked the living apart from my mum on my own, I liked lazy evenings with him and I will miss it a lot, I’m still so happy to be back home and be back on my life track.

I have tons of good memories with him. I’m thankful for everything he gave me but I want to move on. I’m not angry, I’m not in tears all the time(although I did cry couple times), I’m not regretting. 

I’m happy. I’m happy to be on my own.

I’m just saying goodbye to that life.

Goodbye.

I wish you only the best.

Bye.

Coming Back

Okay, it was a huge pause. The life got so busy and it's so sad that I don't post anything even though I actually kinda like it. So, I'll try to change it as I get used to my new job and get a little bit more spare time.

First of all, lots of things have happened. I went to Krasnoyarsk, I went to Kaluga, I almost broke up with my boyfriend, the guy who broke my heart when started dating with my friend, broke up with her and I was so freaking spiteful! I finally met my boyfriend’s mum and grandmother, not very happy of that actually as they are that kind of people who don't like to let anyone in their little castle that I got some pretty rude actions from them. But right now we live together in his aunt’s apartement and it’s great :)

Now I feel actually more adult. And it's scary. Why? Because now I have to thing about adults stuff like paying taxes(I've paid them for the very first time!), deciding weither to sleep or go out with friends, how to find time to clean the house, to cook dinner after a long work day, and more and more and more. Was I ready for it? Hell no! And now I'm terrified. I'm not complaining about growing up but still. Nobody told me it would be that hard and I was simply shocked and disoriented. I'm still confused anyway but I'm much better than couple months ago.

I talked to one my acquaintance the other day and he told me that I had changed a lot since our last conversation(I even don't remember when it was), he said that I became more open, positive, happy and joyful I guess. I haven't noticed that but it acually turned out to be true. A year ago I wouldn't even think that I would meet that many new people, that I would teach that many students at the same time, I wouldn't think that I would be in love, I wouldn't think that I'd get my heart broken that bad. All those things really changed something and now it's something absolutely different. And that's what scares me the most, even now I look back just one year ago and I don't recognize myself. And it all will change even more.

I don't want to scare anyone but still all these things are just something that I really actually needed to finally be able to move on. I was stuck for quite some time and it changed. Now I'm a little bit stuck again but in a different way. But it'll be alright soon. At least that's what I believe in right now. All will be alright.

Now I just want to start writing again and actually have a space to talk about thing I want to talk about. So let's move :)

P.S. Here's a photo from our first day in a new flat :) And yes, we live with TWO gigantic fat cats

Talking Post #2: January of Changing

Hi, humans!

January was a month of changing my mind. I mentioned it couple times and I probably should stop talking about it at all but I still can’t. The point is that the boy I was deeply in love with started dating with my close friend and just crossed me out from his life. That was a strike for me as he was always saying he really needed me and didn’t want to lose. But things changed and now I’m trying to get used to this idea of not having him in my life. I feel like I’m in some kind of series or something like I never expected something like this to happen to me. And of course I wasn’t prepared. The last 6 months were so different: I felt high, I felt low, I felt confused, I felt unconfident, I felt guilty. Guilty that I haven’t done enough to keep him next to me. And although now I realize that he doesn’t deserve the way I was thinking about him, still somewhere deep in my soul I wish he came back. But no matter how hard it is, I need to let him go. Oh Gosh, it sounds so lame. Like the episode of some drama. Heh.

Still. I was pretty much broken in the beginning of the year and the January was a month of thinking and working on myself, on my mood mostly. Sometimes it’s really hard to pull yourself together and just stop thinking about such things and just move on. And I’ve read tons of different articles about motivation and tips to move on. So I mixed some things I’ve read and some things I’ve figured out.

1. Get distracted.

It’s harder than it seems. My go-to thing is movie. I’m trying to watch more movies from different genres: drama, comedy, horror, thriller, some “clever” movies, some “classic” movies which I wanted to watch forever. Other thing I like to do now it’s sorting out my stuff. I have so many things I don’t use so I packed them in some boxes and put under my bed so they don’t take much space I need for more important things.

2. Do something new.

Or just forgotten. I used to draw some years ago and now I really want to start doing it again. I really need some art in my life. Oh, it reminded me that I wanted to go to my favourite art museum in Moscow. I also have a strong desire to start running in the evenings. Morning option is not for me, I tried couple times :)

3. Clean.

The main thing that stops me from forgetting all that shit that’s happened is that I have way too much things reminding about it. So I just took all the photos I had with any mentions of him, all little things and just stored it somewhere I don’t get very often. It helped, really. Then I cleaned my closets from things I don’t actually wear. It was hard to say goodbye to some old clothes which were way to big because I’ve lost some weight(and I’m so proud of it) but instead I’ve found some things I hadn’t worn for ages and simply forgotten about them but actually I still like them and now can’t wait for summer to wear them :) I also cleaned my shelves and drawers to free some space for something new.

4. Work out.

Honestly I’m not successful at this point but it’s the 1^st of February, time to start doing it constantly! It really clears up your mind. Plus, it’s time to start getting ready for summer :)

5. Read.

Sound simple and like it’s not gonna work. But it depends on a book. I’m currently reading “Night Circus” by Erin Morgenstern for fun and “Head First!: 10 Ways to Tap into Your Natural Genius” by Tony Buzan to get to know my own brain a little more. It actually leads to my next point.

6.  Improve.

No matter what you have to improve. The first week after I knew about my “friends” I was only laying all day long, maybe watching some movies or youtube videos. And that was wrong. Only later I realized it and started doing something. I’ve found a new job which I’m loving right now. I’ve read some psychology books for my work which helped me already and there I heard about “Head First” which is incredible! I try to draw everyday to improve my skills. I’m planning to start working out from today. Improving is the best way to get distracted. It’s really important to focus from time to time on yourself, only yourself and nobody else. Friends come and go but you always stay with yourself no matter what. So make yourself an interesting person to be with.

7. Walk more.

The fresh air is the best thing in the world! Living in a big city can make it hard to find a good place for walking but try to find a nice one for yourself. I’ve found couple lovely places in Moscow just for me. It’s a great opportunity to think over everything. One such walk opened my eyes: I realized that I wasn’t really myself those couple months and now I’m trying to do my best just to be more me. So, walks are great :)

All pictures are from this amazing blog on tumblr: artvmeshcheryakova

That's all from me from today!

I hope you've been going great :)

Ciao!

Talking Post #1

Hi, humans!

Well, yes, I haven't written anything for rather long time. Guess why? I'm lazy. I'm out of money and couldn't buy anything new to try out. I had no ideas what to write about. So I decided just to talk about some things I have in my mind.

I actually spent quite a lot of time with my friends outside. But now it's time to study again, time to work and I can't see them as much as I want. Very sad.

Plus, it's autumn now, time to have a depression! I have one problem, I call it "a syndrome of needless person". I'm this kind of person who doesn't trust people, at all. I have some quite close friends, I believe, but sometimes I think that they communicate with me only if they need something from me or when they're bored and don't have anyone else to spend time with. And I realise that it's not so, at least I honestly want to believe that, but it doesn't work most of the time. And it's killing me! I cry from time to time because of that and don't know how to deal with it.

I also have a special problem with one my friend. I used to think he's one of the closest friend of mine but I realised that it's not so. Or maybe I'm just ovethinking. Well, he says he would help me whenever I need it, I've asked for help couple times recently and what did I get? Hysteria or jokes. Nothing serious, no help at all. Ahahahah, now it sounds really stupidly, when I reread what I wrote I realise how silly it is. It seems like I'm 13, not 20 :) I just want to say that nowdays it's kinda risky to let anyone way to close. I have one best friend, and she IS my best friend like no one else. The rests are just old acquaintances. Not very positif, right? Friends are the main problem in my life after lack of self-confidence.

Anyway, I live with it my whole life. And I want to get drunk most of the time :) Autumn, what are you doing with me? Ahah... People, how do you deal with bad mood? And what bothers you this time of a year?

I really hope you're having good time in contrast with me :)

Just sayin.

Ciao!